April has been a confounding month, a month of endings, a month of beginnings, not surprising since its the zodiac new year, we entered Aries with the final culmination endings of the Piscean alchemical energies taking place mid month.
This month has had no commonality, many loose ends tying up, many new seeds sprouting. Feeling suspended in mid air is the only way one could describe the energies of this last month. Feeling like we are on a trip to arrive but this is the longest airplane trip ever, trying to stay sane and make it to the destination where we will be able to actually do something real, something of substance.
during times like this normality and routine can just be thrown out the window, you dont know when to sleep, when to wake up, which is fine but this can be used to manipulate you out of what is appropriate behaviour in other ways if youre not careful.
My favourite one this month was "as i cant sleep, let me eat again so that i can sleep" please make that make sense :/ you cannot make it make sense, it is illogical for the notion here is because i am doing something out of the norm then all other normal timely things must also go out the window -_-
the lack of normality can sometimes make us feel like we shouldn't be confined to do any of the normal things we usually do, this can create frustration and disappointments.
and this can put us in a cycle of obsession or over identification with the material world or the little things.
This is when we start to spiral even more out of control and feel attacked by the smallest and most minor inconveniences or obligations. Really not wanting to deal with anything that might be unpleasant since we feel we cannot do anything until we "arrive" forgetting to enjoy the trip even if uncomfortable.
we can go into a kind of isolated self glorification which when healthy can be reflective and peacefull but when too much is dosed then it starts to weigh us down, make us heavy, too emotional, too watery, unable to let go, unable to grow, unable to face challenges.
This inability can brew like a dark storm of bargaining and denial inside of us where we start to forget learnt lessons, lose won territory and retreat into our defeat.
This month has been challenging but not without its moments of pure transformation, moments of full glee full jumps over giant hurdles, moments of full surrender to inner knowing and jumping over the luciferian abyss straight into our god parents arms, knowing we are loved, we are a success even if there are parts of us that dont see it that way, it doesn't mean that it isn't the truth.
Taking a moment to congratulate ourselves, and congratulate our loved ones for all the success we have been able to achieve thus far, will help us avoid the pitfalls of impatience, self critical abuse we inflict on ourselves and therefore eventually others. To see ourselves as we truly are, as loving creative beings that deserve love and whom are getting it even if its not in the love language we want but admitting that it is in the love language we need. We are growing and we will arrive at the destination soon, with a lot more clarity a nice little itinerary to go with it.
See you there!